Final Days in Mexico

Posted on February 23, 2014 by sceneafaire under Mexico 2014

I spent this past week with spotty wifi, my family, Mexican highways, Mayan ruins, and the Caribbean coast. I made the call not to hunch myself over in the corners of rooms or hang over balconies to get a signal (at least not every day), so I’m posting now instead of then. Plus, I was napping more with Papá here, ya know. Aaron arrived last Sunday and I started breathing deeper breaths again. That first night with him after a lifetime-like month, I slept like an undisturbed cat. Raines Wilder also exchanged our slothy moments together for battles with Papá. “We can protect Mama now, you and me, Papa. We are SO strong, but not Mama. She’s not very strong because of the baaaby.” Poor, weak Mama, uh-huh. I’m definitely over trying to cover up the sentiment of walking up three stairs and wanting to lay down on the fourth, so I glare only a little bit at these remarks.

Skipping back a few days, I’ll mention my favorite times in the city. The taxista (Angel: he asked for us to use the English spelling and pronunciation so okay) who took us to R’s school every day was extremely helpful and kind. He even brought one of his sons along one day to hang out with us. He knew I wanted to check out more of the local markets instead of checking out pet stores at the mall or something. So he took me to a tianguis (outdoor market on wheels/in tents, held on a certain day of the week in a certain part of town) on a Thursday, and then to another one on Friday. I was so happy that I ate a taco de lengua (pig tongue) AND tried uno de oreja (ear)… first one good, second one, um, you should try for yourself and tell me whatcha think ;-). I found some beautiful playeras and little necessities along the way. At the second tianguis I had the most amazing quesadilla and only thought about heart burn and acid reflux from my pregnantness for a second or two. I bought a bag of caimitos for 10 pesos and ate one of these brilliantly sweet and colorful fruits in the street. These days were so good. Even Raines Wilder had his best times at school, and was a little too happy to tell me about one of his little friends having a potty accident, but not him nooo no.

We spent Monday in Mérida, showing Papá our favorite sculptures and paintings, ice skating, and saying hellos and goodbyes to Silvio and Norma. Oh, and then I let Aaron repack all our stuff, including the priceless goods we’d acquired during our stay—hee. Tuesday we breakfasted in the sweet little café outside our apartment, got in our fancy rental car, and headed to Chichén Itza and the Caribbean beyond. I drove (now only needed for the logistical side of things and such) and Raines and Papá worked on new skills in the back seat. I focused on slowing down for the topes (giant speedbumps) that showed up before, during, and after going through populated areas. It went okay, as I only air launched us a handful of times (sometimes they were just there, all of sudden, out of seriously nowhere ummm).

Huge, impressive, hot—Chichén Itza. Ruins always intrigue me, and this site in its grandiosity, layout, and history, is definitely sparkly for me. I’m wandering around looking for dates and info while the menfolk are looking annoyed at all the pesky ropes, blocking entrance to the temples. Raines Wilder decided the Mayans lived on the top of the pyramids (he didn’t like my version as much) and that he’d like to live there too. Both Aaron and Raines Wilder decided it’d be way cooler if you could actually go inside these things. Yeah, yeah, but not everyone is as cool and strong as you guys, and tourists ruin things, etc. I’m sure I sounded like Blah blah, Papá and Raines are so strong. So we just kept dodging into tiny streams of shade. The boy wasn’t as interested in the stories of heads rolling down temple steps as he was concerned about whether los españoles came and died here, or if maybe they built some of this stuff too (no, the less-cool cities, I said; they built those). Overall, cool spot and we didn’t end up throwing our kid into the sacred cenote as a sacrifice. Even though his blood is probably pretty pure. So back into the car and onward.

We got to Tulum (the city) some longer minutes later that day, and sketched out hotel options. I’m grateful and okay to admit that we did not opt for a tent or shack on the beach. Uh, basically I think we took our honeymoon, or maybe someone else’s even, in this place. We stayed at Playa Azul with sand at our toetips and the princess bed of my 10-year-old dreams. There was even a bowl outside our door to wash the sand from our feet. Upon noticing this, Raines Wilder stepped in, peed, and smiled back at us. I woke up to a pristine sunrise the next morning and then decided to stare at my husband and child until they woke up. After breakfast we drove the easy five-minute road to the ruins of Tulum. This place may end up being my favorite ruins I’ve visited… ever (Tikal is super hard to beat, though, with monkeys throwing things at you, crocodile ponds, and the freaking trees!). Tulum isn’t a giant site, but it’s absolutely incredible. The city was built on a cliff, overlooking the Caribbean ocean. Apparently the Mayans stuck around this place for nearly 100 years after the Spanish invited themselves over—impressive (on the Mayan side, I mean). Iguanas are everywhere here, bobbing their heads around and staring at you. After we talked more about the lame ropes saying no to us everywhere, we got to go swim at the bottom of the cliff. Incredible. Amazing. And a girl was even throwing up in a bag next to me at one point (maybe she got pregnant with all the romance of this place). But truly, this place is beautiful. After visiting the ruins, we got to go back to the beach and had an awesome day before driving back to the airport the following morning. We stopped by Grand Cenote on our way back across the peninsula and got to watch turtles and divers. I wish we could’ve visited more of these places (crazy sinkholes all over the Yucatán, believed by the Mayans to be sacred wells and portholes to the gods, plus coming with freaky legends, etc.). Next time, I suppose.

I know this post is long and full of so many words, so it’s totally fine if you don’t make it down to this paragraph. But we flew all the way home on Friday, leaving the Yucatán basically the same as it was and trekking back with one whole kid who speaks less Spanglish and more Spanish than he did a few weeks ago. And my stomach is way bigger. And Aaron now has cowlicks in his beard. And our house is still the best home. And our animals are so happy and cuddly. I am so grateful for our ability to travel and share these experiences. I also find great peace and pleasure in stepping through our door onto these wood floors. It didn’t make it worse that we came home to sunny, warm days here in Nashville. So next year we’ll have to figure out what to do with 2 loving urchin children. Maybe we can take an Abuelita or a Tío Roddy or a Canción and Miela along with us. And now I’m gonna go drink another cup of coffee and see if my kid has any pants on yet.

Missing Aaron

Sometimes 5:30 p.m. means this

Last day at school, with his Maestra Paty!

Wonderful mornings at our neighborhood café

Tianguis

Taco de lengua

Caimito

Angel, eating the amazing quesadilla

ay, I love him

I understand if you have conflicting feelings about this one. Just know that he decided that he’d be on the Mayan side, not with the conquistadores.

Baby in a (breathable) bag. Why haven’t we played this before…?

Modeling things I make is not his favorite thing

Waiting for Papá to walk through the door at the airport

Papá is here and it is so good

Raines Wilder would like to buy this rope and take it home

Transformer birds and arte

Ice skating dreams fulfilled. In Mexico, of course.

Chichén yo!

Familia. Standing in front of thousands of pillars. Whoa

Templo de los guerreros [Temple of the Warriors]

About to walk through the wall into Tulum. And yeah, check that kid’s outfit.

Giant iguana by Aaron, guarding his cave home

Awesome cliff view

I mean, whaaaaaaa!?!?!

All 4 of us, staring into the super-bright sun

Cliffside beach–swimming at the ruins!

La la land

Tulum

The boy and his Papá walked outside to the beach, so I stayed here and took a nap.

Raines Wilder helped two girls with dig these

Tulum

Bright and shiny sand. Raines Wilder, Aaron, and Kai (a beach friend). Yeah, and then there’s me and the boy, all bleached out in the sun

He lost his shovel to the sea. But then he found 5 pesos in the sand, so this frown didn’t last too long

Sunrise in Tulum. From our balcony

Crazyland

Gran Cenote

oooooh

The boy is pretty awesome with a Polaroid camera

Last night in Mexico

Mérida airport, about to head home!

Nashville!

So good to be back!

Pop Tarts, el Tigre Macho, and Considering Colonialism

Posted on February 11, 2014 by sceneafaire under Mexico 2014, Uncategorized

I think someone should know that I bought a box of cherry pop tarts and some chocolate twinkie-like things. I’m hiding them from Raines Wilder (he can have hummus and cheese if he wants a snack). I already ate one of the smushy brownie cakes and it gave me a nice high that I’m still enjoying as I type. No guilt involved, mind you, but it just seems like it’d be more fun to share these boxed goods with another person (and Aaron doesn’t get here until Sunday night). Oh yeah, did I mention that he’s coming on SUNDAY!? I am becoming more and more convinced that I’ve been sent through the transmogrifier at least twice now, which seems to explain this newer sensation of missing home and husband until it hurts all the way to my partially expanding lungs (7 months pregnant yo). Not that I didn’t miss him before (so much, Baby, always), but before Aaron and our good life (and wading through our muck, ahem) I wanted to go all the way around the world and to the sky and didn’t mind not knowing a single detail or if I’d even be coming back. One of my longest-running fancies had to do with me ending up somewhere and forgetting how to speak English. Anyway, I cannot wait to wrap my arms around my love when he gets here. And given that I’m such a mushpot these days, I’m sure I’ll end up being this sobbing pregnant lady with hoodlum-ragamuffin child in tow.

We went to the zoo again on Sunday and had an amazing time. Zoo highlights: When R said “hola” to the giant White Tiger, the cat backed up, turned around, and sprayed his machismo directly at us. I swooped my kid to the side and we barely escaped his “misting.” Guácala [gross]. And then this one crocodile stared at R for forever, imagining just exactly what he would taste like. And other good things.

By the way, we are SO happy this week. We moved into our new apartment here in North Mérida, where we each have our own room and bathroom (what!). Raines Wilder has designated one bed for Papá, one bed for me, and one of the giant closets for him. Okay. We are so grateful to Norma and Silvio (and pup-pup Lucas) for opening their home to us our first few weeks here. We were safe and had our own balcony from which to blow bubbles. So I got our stuffed moved across town to our new digs, and then found out that my most beautiful niece Aegis was born yesterday morning! Kathryn was able to have her at home and in water. I am ecstatically proud of her and cannot wait to meet her. Good, good day! Also, Raines entertained himself for about 2 hours by organizing and reorganizing all of the precious “toys” he’s accumulated since we got here. And I propped myself up on three pillows.

I need to tell you about my kid and the Mayans. Our first day in Mérida we went downtown with Norma and Silvio and walked through a museum. After passing through some interesting exhibits (our two favorite sculptures are the transformer bird made out of discarded motor parts and the bull’s head, made from discarded metal pieces), we went into a smaller room showing some works of Fernando Castro Pacheco. Raines Wilder was immediately drawn to the biggest mural on the wall, Las Tres Etapas Históricas del Pueblo Yucateco. The mural depicts three principal phases through which Mayans suffered after the Spanish arrived on the Yucatán. Each of the three images poetically conveys the truculence endured by the indigenous peoples on this peninsula during the Spanish conquest. Thousands upon thousands of Mayans were subjugated by steel-wielding, horse-mounted, disease-carrying proxies of colonialism. Oh, let me stop myself there or my face will start to hurt. Raines wants to know, to really understand why they are shooting arrows at this man; why their villages are on fire; why this man was killed by the pointy cactus. We sat in front of this painting and talked about what was happening a bit. We’ve since watched many videos and read many stories about the history of the Mayans. And I may have added a few of my own interpretations and opinions about these happenings. In fact, last night as he was melting from a symptom of childhood, he repeatedly told me that all he wanted was the story of the Mayans and Papá. We’ve been back to visit this mural again, and it ended up being the only thing we did in the city that day. The Mayans were warriors, too, by the way; Raines Wilder will tell you they weren’t the only ones to die. My small one sat in front of the painting for nearly half an hour. Maybe longer. He was thinking about how it made him feel and how he’d like a spear like that one in the painting. He wouldn’t shoot the Mayans, he said, but probably the conquistadores. Let’s see how his brain and heart mapping works out over these next few years. Ajit, I’ll need your help here too.

So yes, a good week so far and getting even better as we count down our days until Aaron gets here to love and help. Raines Wilder is in school again today and doing wonderfully with everyone there. His sugar intake is still astronomical and my energy levels are still sapped, but here we are in our third week in Mexico. I’m off to drink a cup of caffeine (and yes, I get asked if I’m sure I don’t want decaf every time I order a coffee). And no, I don’t want to drink pineapple juice on the beach all day either.

A lot to prove. Trying to crush a rock with his [rubber] Batman shoe. It’s okay, I said, you can try again later.

Instructing me on how I need to hold on while riding the bus.

Abrazos para Los Gorditos.

Considering colonialism

Blowing bubbles in the plaza, missing Colleen.

Mérida rooftops

Cueva

Norma’s mother, a few years ago.

Poor kid in his socks. He did this over and over and got so good at it.

Please come do this with me.

El Macho Macho Macho

Cocodrilo

SO happy to Skype with “Mom” and G-Pa! We love and miss you mucho.

29 semanas

About to move

Aegis MacIvor-Andersen, my beautiful niece

Wanting to clean our new, already super-clean apartment. Well, okay.

Se ha dicho que la revolución no necesita el arte, pero que el arte necesita la revolución. Eso no es cierto. La revolución sí necesita de un arte revolucionario.
–Diego Rivera

La Verdadera Realidad de la Realidad

Posted on February 7, 2014 by sceneafaire under Mexico 2014, Uncategorized

Perhaps my last post put some of you dear ones on edge, leaving you concerned and burdened with our long, bad day. But look, our days got better and we even went to see the new Lego movie tonight (popcorn, Icee, multiple bathroom trips and all). I absolutely could’ve skipped over this past week and left the fancy Mexican highlights in the open, but then that’s not life in general—and it’d be honesty covered in spit. Not once have I taken a trip and butterflied through it without a hard day or two or five. For me, the ruby is all in my reaction to my situation: How do I respond to, escape from, battle, ninja strike, etcetera whatever black rain cloud I’m staring at? And even if I go at it all wrong and slam my toe in a door, I’ll have future retrospection (whoa, weird but works) to learn from…but obviously better to get the shit right the first time, yeah? I will admit that this pregnancy has bent me a bit, and I’m much more tired all day and night than usual (if I can recall life before this train). But we’re here now so the boy can reinforce his Spanish skills all day every day, and also because who knows what kind of what Bebé Dos is gonna be and when/if we’ll ever be able to leave our house again. Basically, point of paragraph: honesty from me to you.

Raines Wilder has had a wonderful three days at his Mac Paty school (ahahahaa…sorry I just can’t not be happy about the name). He hasn’t opted to eat much of the Yucatecan food yet, but he did go for the cake and fruit loops (???) that were served at a birthday celebration today. Anyway. Oh yes, I finally found a local little café: Las Orquídeas Restaurante y Café. My eggs even came with jalapeños in them. And even though the server kept taking my napkin away, he always brought me a new one. So poor Starbucks will have to go back to dealing with their own again. Also, I wore this super motherly top today—one that Canción gave me (I love you and ache with the miles between us)—and felt pretty and pregnant. Surface topic. Whatever, it mattered today.

I have no clear idea of what we will do tomorrow (er, shower…?), but I think things get real here on the weekends. Maybe we’ll go try to find a black rope again, since he seems to be clinching onto this memory relentlessly. Either and all the ways, we’ve got good coming. I now have a pink Nokia phone that I could totally show off with when I get home, but it’s just practical. I mean, his school’s gotta have a way to contact me, right? So Salúd, damas y caballeros, y buenas noches hasta que llegue la luz del sol de nuevo.

A funny shape in the Starbux mirror

There are some tuff kit cats around here, and then there are some named Misha.

Picking the boy up from his escuelita is fantastic.

Papa, guess who picked the PINK balloons? Aaaand they never seem to go away, no matter how many I accidentally pop a day.

“El sol, está en mis ojos. ¿Puedes moverlo, Mami?”
“The sun, it’s in my eyes. Can you move it, Mommy?”

Shirt of the day, thanks to my sweet Cancioncita

Waiting on our taxi to take us to our MOOOOOVIE

Do we care about Legos yet? Well, that was fun anyway.

Beating the Hell out of Tuesday: Why Wednesday Wins

Posted on February 6, 2014 by sceneafaire under Mexico 2014, Uncategorized

Tuesday was supposed to be Raines Wilder’s first day at the Nemo-Piglet school. And it was supposed to be a frenetically fantastic day for me and my brain. That morning we got up, ate breakfast, had a tense discussion about brushing his hair, and skipped out the door to head to his class. I was hopeful and excited about getting this going for us. We had to skip the train ride that morning because he couldn’t seem to find anything sweet or remotely loving to say to me. And spiders have five legs, by the way, not eight. I’m so wrong all the time every second always. So hasta mañana, trencito. We were met at the school entrance by the director, who scrunched up her face and told me that, you see, there’s a bit of a chicken pox outbreak among the children. She didn’t actually say it was chicken pox at first, but referred to it as a skin virus. So I asked her if she could tell me exactly what it was, which involved her turning the computer on and trying to find what it is called. She had a nurse come downstairs to talk with me about it more extensively. And as this nurse is explaining to me that la varicela (chicken pox) wouldn’t be harmful to the boy, it could be very dangerous for my pregnancy. I really wonder what my facial expression was stuck on at this point. Also, in the middle of her explication I got one of my lovely sweats and had to hold onto the wall while she finished talking. They said it was totally up to me whether Raines stayed or not, and while he may very well get chicken pox at some point, I say no gracias to him having them here and now. Jesus please no. I had to lay down outside the school before walking us back to the house, where Norma pointed out that my face was empty looking and I should go lay down. This is where I remember our day starting to scrape around all the grime from the bottoms of our feet.

I let Raines Wilder watch a few episodes on his iPad while I slothed myself down onto the bed. After about an hour I said, okay kid, we gotta turn that thing off and go look for another school. 1.5 seconds later the boy lost his shit. I mean, torrentially so. There was screaming and growling and a few other forms of aggression. I was already at a heightened state of feeling stressed, and not having anywhere private to handle this rampaging creature whom I love pitched me into desperation. I couldn’t find a closet that I could fit into, so there I was, holding the glass balcony door closed while I sat on the other side of the wall crying. On the other side of the glass stood my son, who was banging on the door and demanding that I put the battery back in his iPad (I had turned it off). See, at home we’ve got protocol for this kind of mess. The longest his tirades usually last at home is 30 minutes or so. Apparently Mexico has given him super-tantrum skills. He went on crying and lamenting the loss of his iPad for about 2 hours. Yes, my nerves were bright red and yellow and green. And yeah, sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom at home until I can come out and love again. It’s safe. It’s what happens sometimes.

By the end of our day, I looked like this:

I’m not showing you the rest of my face because it was just too startling. Heh.

Things got better. Yesterday was many monies better and today is too. I don’t share any of this to remind myself of things I’d like to slush into a never-happened history. I write this down because it was our Tuesday. It happened, and I didn’t walk through it with Raines Wilder just as I would’ve hoped to. Not my kind of mothering, I’ll have to say. We totally miss Papa and our days are so different here, and my small one doesn’t yet grasp all the shifts and clefts that travel can design. Really, neither do I. I guess I just choose to be upset over things other than the iPad. The only thing I repeated all through the day to him was that I love him, and will not allow him to handle himself this way. I love him. I love him. I love him.

But school happened yesterday and is happening again today! Estancia Infantil Mac Paty seems to be a success! And we got him a bright green fútbol for our evenings at the park. So here I am, sitting at Starbucks (my options here are Starbucks and Italian Coffee Company, or one of the coffee stands in the mall We can talk about this weirdness later), channeling Raines Wilder’s tranquility at school with my blackberry pastry and latte. Check it.

Gulping Through lo Bueno y lo Malo

Posted on February 4, 2014 by sceneafaire under Mexico 2014, Uncategorized

Welcome to my Tuesday night. I’ve got a sleeping child on the bed behind me, the Ninjago Ultimate Sticker Collection to the right, and a bracelet I bought in Honduras at the age of 20 on my left wrist. Today was a long, skinned-knee, tear-poached face kinda day. But I’ll go back to happier, baby-hippo days first.

Last Friday we went to the zoo in Mérida, where Raines Wilder slid down a slide out of an airplane, ate a form of pink cotton candy, and considered how seeing animals living in the middle of the city makes him feel. But seriously, I’ve never seen more big cats in one place before. There were at least 20. And the White Tiger is the biggest, fattest cat I’ve ever stared at. R kept wanting to go back to the hippos and there I am wondering if these kit cats would ever even be hungry enough to eat us if we were in there with them. One of the jaguars had this huge chunk of meat just lying on a plate below it. Like, I’m so full I think I’ll stay up here and stare next door at the crocodile. Anyway, it was fun and some of the cages didn’t even have locks on them. Um. And the baby hippo who lives right next to the lion pride. So these four lions, who look to be mama, papa, and daughters are all set up on their fancy platform, staring at the hippos all day, every day. Maybe that’s the gate that shouldn’t have a lock on it. But then again, would they ever be hungry enough to eat that baby hippo? After we saw lots of tigers, lions, jaguars, and crocodiles, we moved onto the monkeys. At this point, Raines started asking about where their homes are, so I told him. And then I told him that a lot about zoos, even good zoos, makes me feel sad and I sometimes want to open all the cages and let the animals take over. See, I have a much harder time watching an animal get displaced and strapped into human subjectivity than watching a human get dismembered and eaten by a crocodile (this is true, but does not mean I would choose saving a baby gazelle from a cheetah over saving my kid—or your kid even. But some people, I mean, maybe I’d pray for them and all, but if they were getting got by lion or tiger I’d probably just leave it at that). I believe we were left with the responsibility of caring for and protecting animals (not in lame, mushy, animal-hoarding ways, okay), and this has always been a foundational part of me. But, as I told R, it gets complicated, this whole idea of freeing the animals. It just wouldn’t be best, because then we’d have these creatures wandering through Mérida eating inappropriate things and the military police would probably come and shoot them. Not a good ending. Not really a good beginning. But they’re not starving and Raines decided sometimes it does make him feel sad.

I’ll jump from there to a few side-note flickerings that I was thinking about. Some favorite recollections of previous travel (before boy, before real love) are my in-between or alone times. I would be riding a bus to or from town, sitting at a bar or cafe waiting on a friend, or searing the soles of my shoes while climbing a volcano. I could have full-sentence reflection, if I wanted. I could trace back through my day to note things I should never do again, or remind mindself of new phrases I’d learned. Today, now traveling with R, is the most necessarily present living I have ever done. Sure, I make plans for our following days and look ahead to falling asleep next to my lover in our home, but every day I must be here. I must be now. Because the boy just fell on the rain-washed sidewalk and he just tried to stick his hand into the Bengal Tiger’s cave (’cause we totally could have touched him). I need to be present, to be with him, when he’s inspecting all the dirt-crusted treasure in the street. Like yesterday, he saw this pink styrofoam thing that he really wanted to use for a boat. I’ve gotta be ready to make compromises and to not make compromises. I must navigate our days, intent on making it safely and contentedly to our bed, without having my son feel that all I do is tell him what to do. This is my love, my ministry of the heart, wherein I fail and succeed daily.

This past weekend felt like success and failure and then…exhaustion. We went to Puerto Progreso for a couple days at the beach. It really is awesome to be on the sand, listening to slipping waters and watching my son work so intently on impermanent projects. The first night we stayed at this fancy-looking hotel. And while it seemed clean in the bleach-rising-from-the-floor sort of way, the bed was something a lizard wouldn’t sleep on. So the next day we asked around a bit and ended up meeting a pretty cool South African guy who manages a restaurant and hotel in Progreso. We checked out the room (and smooshed the bed to make sure) and decided to stay there for the night. The guy’s name is Keith and he said he’s been in Progreso for the past 2 years, which is 3 months too long for him. He’s an engineer and heads back to Nigeria via London in 2 weeks (where he’ll be making $200k/yr instead of probably $10k/yr there in Progreso). He was helpful and unsketchy, and it ended up being a good move for us. The only thing we used out sheets for, though, was to wipe the sweat off of our limbs and bodies during the night. Raines Wilder had some hard falls and seemed to contract a less-than-lovely attitude over the weekend.

We’re back in Mérida now and Raines Wilder starts school tomorrow at Estancia Mac Paty (yep). And if you were concerned about whether he’ll be in the midst of a chicken pox outbreak, calm your hearts; I found a new school. I’ll write about our today (may it filter out of heart and mind quickly and leave us in peace going forward) tomorrow.

Such a choppy post, I know. Forgive me and pray for my hips and back and baby and kid.

If you’re wondering, Does he really need that sheet? No, no he does not.

He wanted to climb onto this.

Biggest tiger ever.

Lions next door to hippos

We waited through this super long line to get on this thing, and right as it was our turn the guy looked at me and told me that I couldn’t do it because I’m pregnant. Maybe I’m just eating a lot of tamales–sheesh. Lame.

“¿Es real, mami?” “Uh, creo que sí.”

“

Big hippo, little hippo, big hippo

Beso para el hermanito

Major project: digging this rope out of the sand. It was soooooo deep.

28-weeks pregnant in Mexico, with a gremlin child.

SOL EN MI CARA

The light in our room was just, well, either too much or too little but sometimes lovely

mush brains

I might look serious here because it was early and I was staring at a light cloud filter next to the sun. This is the climate in which mothers jacket their children, and I can feel a drip of sweat running down my chest.